Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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