Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Randomize
