meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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