nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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