after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I still have a little drunk in my system
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
