Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
