Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
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he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
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I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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