Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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