I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
