Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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