She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
