butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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