Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize