This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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