I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
