Its about making memories worth repressing
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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