Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
