This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Randomize
