Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
