i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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