Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
