why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
