Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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