tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
