Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I didn't notice because vodka
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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