Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
