She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
