it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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