FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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