I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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