I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
