I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
