smell my finger.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize