dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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