DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
