so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
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