he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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