How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Everclear isn't food dammit
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
