none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
