Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
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