Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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