Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
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