Yo dont text me then not text me
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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