He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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