Already got asked if we're dating
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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