so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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