I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
