I think im going to throw up on grandma
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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