Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Randomize
