Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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