PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
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