we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice