ADVERTISEMENT

• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?

  Fav 5 1053 1628

  share tweet
  

• (571): View more from Virginia

  Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..

  (703): View more from Virginia

  this can't be going anywhere good

  (571): View more from Virginia

  nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\

  Fav 197 2403 27435

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (850): View more from Florida

  From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.

  Fav 10 1174 5195

  share tweet
  

• (317): View more from Indiana

  Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.

  Fav 15 1399 4436

  share tweet
  
• 

  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (319): View more from Iowa

  the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".

  Fav 9 4660 1824

  share tweet
  

• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME

  Fav 5 4534 1181

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (914): View more from New York

  Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?

  Fav 8 2343 1136

  share tweet
  

• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.

  Fav 8 2319 816

  share tweet
  

• (914): View more from New York

  After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.

  Fav 6 1698 1376

  share tweet
  
• 

  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.

  Fav 11 1528 733

  share tweet
  

• (810): View more from Michigan

  It just smells like spaghetti and despair.

  Fav 1 450 618

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (302): View more from Delaware

  It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world

  Fav 2 372 201

  share tweet
  

• (510): View more from California

  apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.

  Fav 1 297 76

  share tweet
  

• (518): View more from New York

  I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.

  Fav 0 134 67

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (440): View more from Ohio

  So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books

  Fav 2 23 96

  share tweet
  

Randomize