One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
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Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
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While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum