Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.

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  (303): I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment. http://tfl.nu/lu2o
  Replies (11) Good night (3722) Bad night (1131)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  was it more than 30 minutes?

  (416): View more from Ontario

  ya

  (519): View more from Ontario

  then you're in a relationship

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  (519): was it more than 30 minutes? (416): ya (519): then you're in a relationship http://tfl.nu/ie8p
  Replies (34) Good night (5035) Bad night (930)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"

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  (224): he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?" http://tfl.nu/j7hy
  Replies (44) Good night (7754) Bad night (4556)
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  (315): View more from New York

  idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me

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  (315): idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me http://tfl.nu/dmik
  Replies (27) Good night (8119) Bad night (1031)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.

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  (954): It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life. http://tfl.nu/v7co
  Replies (10) Good night (783) Bad night (3722)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  Its weird to pet your cat with a boner

  (1-406): View more from Montana

  What the fuck?

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  (406): Its weird to pet your cat with a boner (1-406): What the fuck? http://tfl.nu/9pm4
  Replies (48) Good night (2217) Bad night (8906)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped

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  (781): she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped http://tfl.nu/pl2z
  Replies (8) Good night (1875) Bad night (1068)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.

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  (918): The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals. http://tfl.nu/o5rq
  Replies (4) Good night (2304) Bad night (1912)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking

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  (303): It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking http://tfl.nu/y5lt
  Replies (10) Good night (2842) Bad night (934)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.

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  (813): You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon. http://tfl.nu/vfo5
  Replies (7) Good night (959) Bad night (1649)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.

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  (307): I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome. http://tfl.nu/fygk
  Replies (4) Good night (658) Bad night (1982)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.

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  (636): In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something. http://tfl.nu/dpws
  Replies (4) Good night (1070) Bad night (453)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Omg that was my second thought of the morning.

  (802): View more from Vermont

  First was that we had pop tarts.

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  (802): Omg that was my second thought of the morning. (802): First was that we had pop tarts. http://tfl.nu/egcs
  Replies (0) Good night (513) Bad night (323)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I went on an adventure and now we have more food.

  (360): View more from Washington

  Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.

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  (360): I went on an adventure and now we have more food. (360): Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible. http://tfl.nu/3w1h
  Replies (0) Good night (617) Bad night (361)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic

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  (802): The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic http://tfl.nu/lc5z
  Replies (1) Good night (327) Bad night (329)

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