you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?