dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Randomize
