i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
