Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(386): View more from Florida

I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife

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(818): View more from California

All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on

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(314): View more from Missouri

I hate the hobo that sits outside our building

(1-314): View more from Missouri

Joe or Chris?

(314): View more from Missouri

do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?

(1-314): View more from Missouri

well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.

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(504): View more from Louisiana

I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.

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(214): View more from Texas

Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us

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(219): View more from Indiana

I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall

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(702): View more from Nevada

One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell

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(303): View more from Colorado

Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house

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(619): View more from California

She's still here. My penis can feel it.

(858): View more from California

Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago

(619): View more from California

FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector

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