I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
