morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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