I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
