onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
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