she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
