Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
