I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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