I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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