HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
