its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize