problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
